The words emotional maturity are what echo in my brain these days. Usually late at night, when it’s quiet and I finally have time to reflect. I’ve made that my safe space.

I’ve always prided myself on being emotionally intelligent. You literally cannot tell me anything about feeling my feelings. I got that covered. I have no problem having uncomfortable conversations. They allow you to grow and provide clarity.

But am I emotionally mature?

I don’t think I am, at least not as much as I thought I was. I believed I had that covered. Life will humble you quickly and show you your flaws. We all have to do the shadow work. And that shadow side is a muthafucka, man.

These last few years have taught me so much about myself. What I’ll tolerate and what I won’t. My breaking points, my triggers, and why they bother me so much.

I’ve learned that with emotional maturity comes detachment. From people, places, things, and cycles. I’m a bit of a woo woo person, lol. I can’t help it. I didn’t choose this life. It chose me.

One example was last year. I walked away from a cycle that was no longer serving me, only to walk right back into another one because it had glitter. I lacked self preservation because I tried to approach things differently. I thought, well, I know this wouldn’t work in the past, so let me attempt to do things differently. Knowing good and well I already had all the tools to NOT engage. Wasn't very mature of me.

With that, I lost a lot of self respect. Eventually it felt like watching myself on TV. A bad Tyler Perry movie. At some point I felt I had to ride the lesson out in order to get out of it. It sounds cliché, but the little things make up the big things. The little things make up YOU.

Remember, with emotional maturity comes detachment. Loss. I lost a lot these last few years. It hurt like hell. I’m still hurting honestly. But I’m healing and I’m happy with my results. I’m happy I showed up authentically. That’s half the battle. I don't have any regrets from anything I walked away from. 

I’ve learned you can only be as mature as the situation allows. When that limit is exceeded, you must see yourself to the door before you lose yourself on the way there.

These routines I started implementing became an internal skin care routine, if you will. The detachment was like exfoliation. You must let the dead go in order to become rejuvenated.

Emotional maturity is going to force real growth. Not everyone and everything can come to that level with you. You must cut old habbits.

I’m challenging myself to respond differently because I don’t have the capacity to operate below what I’ve already dealt with. Its literally beneath me now. 

I’m challenging you as a reader as well to respond differently as well and to take that step. If you want different, BE DIFFERENT.

GROW UP for goodness sake.

DO THE WORK.